New space

I'm longing for a new space, like a new start, for what reason I'm not sure. Maybe February. I always blame February, or like my mom, the weather.

I feel like in a new space, we will have Wide Open Spaces.
Like I'd be more awake in the morning in a new space and sleep better at night in a fresh open space.
Like the light coming in through the windows in a new space would be brighter and there would be no dust in the air or on the furniture for that light to reflect on.
Like I'll buy good lunch meat and make my husband lunch everyday and prepare healthy dinners every night and I'll invite our family over for brunch every Sunday.
Like maybe I'd throw the ball for the dogs and scoop their poop in the yard every day.
Like there's a void I'm trying to fill and I can't quite pinpoint it.

I'm longing for a sense of community and closeness of family. I'm longing for a give-and-take society that doesn't exist where I am in this moment. I'm longing for someone to drop by for a cup of tea and to be able to enjoy the company without thinking of work I should be getting done. I want to help someone by picking their kids up from school and feeding them dinner and another day have someone do the same for me. I don't want to feel out of line to ask a neighbour for a cup of sugar or to feel guilty for asking someone to do something for me and I don't want someone else feeling it would be too much of a hassle to ask me. I feel like we're all behind our closed doors and curtained windows. It feels sad to feel such disconnect with society.

Like in a new space, even in the boonies, I would make this happen. Like for some reason, where I am wrapped up in all of our unimportant cluttered things I just wouldn't be able to find my way past and make it work. Like the gray sky has made it too dark to see through to connect with anything.
25.2.13