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Just what I needed

Ryker and I were upstairs tonight getting a start on putting the house back together after an insane hectic week when I heard something bump down a few of the stairs and then a quiet sound of breaking glass. There was Ryker at the top of the stairs, his mouth in the shape of an 'O' looking at a broken bottle of red nail polish three stairs down, with a path on each step and up the white baseboard leading to it.

Oh no. I kept calm on the outside. I started to wipe away the puddles of polish with paper towel while he stood at the top and took it in. I raced to get a dish cloth wet with hot water and returned to him with the roll of paper towel in hand sitting at the top of the stairs. He threw the other bottle of nail polish down the stairs (And no, I didn't think to take it away from him). It didn't break and when I continued to scrub the polish away, the paper towel started flagging down the stairs from above. Bless his little heart, he was just trying to help.

By the time I got to the biggest mess on the third step it had started to set in and I was starting to panic a bit. I got up to soak the dish cloth again in the bathroom sink and was greeted by Ryker unrolling the toilet paper roll. "Not a good time, bud," I told him.

I returned to the third stair and added some more elbow grease when I felt something touch my head. Oh my God. For real, Ryker was sitting on the stair above and brushing my hair with the toilet brush. I actually burst out laughing, and I couldn't stop. 

After a nearly impossible-to-manage busy week, strangely, it was kind of just what I needed. 

Anyway, it's the red nail polish stain on the hardwood stairs that remind us of the memories that make a house a home, right.... Right?

And a little while later when he was rolling around on our bed with 'Beebee' while I was trying to tuck in the freshly washed sheets, I just stopped and came in close to his face, touching nose to nose and asked out loud, to no one in particular, "How did I get so lucky?"
20.4.13

Refresh

Stuck on a white page... again and looking for life's Refresh button.

After answering constant requests to be scooped in my lap and read books while trying to meet deadline followed by the guilt of ignoring him while his restlessness results in pushing my limits, I decided we'd go for a bike ride when I got my work submitted.

But when I couldn't find comfy pants and then realized I'd have to change Ryker out of his monkey-footed sleeper in order to get his feet into any of his shoes, I literally said out loud, You know what, *with a sigh to ease a wave-of-anxiety* fuck it. Have I mentioned I'm not looking forward to the day I have to stop saying fuck in his vicinity?

I redirected my energy to fighting the tidy-house battle that I'm convinced will forever defeat me. I spend a day doing laundry, only to find that tomorrow it's piled up again and when I've emptied the dishwasher, the sink is full of dirty dishes waiting to go in. All the books are off the shelves again, there are fingerprints on the couch and Goldfish in the carpet, crumbs on the counter, dog-chewed plastic fruit, the recycling tub under the sink is already full and I've recently de-cluttered and still feel like we have way too much shit.

Wah, Wah, Blah, Blah...


What he's doing now...
• His first word was Da Da and now he uses it in context, calling out for him
• He's adjusting to the toddler room at daycare
• His new rubber boots are feeding his shoe fetish
• All of his pants have to rolled up at the bottom
• He has big boy sneakers I found at Goodwill for $4
• He's going up and down the stairs like it ain't no thing
• He's always saying a cross between 'WHOA' and 'WOW', and dragging it out with a laugh that says, Man! Can't believe that just happened!
• Says Teetee (Kitty) Dowa (Door) Shsss (Shoes) Shuck (Truck)
• Loves singing into a microphone
• Is a great little helper, putting away the Tupperware from the dishwasher and putting the wash into the dryer. I'm convinced by June he'll be cutting the grass. Is that legal?
• Speaking in tones I recognize from my childhood home videos
• He does sign language for 'More' and 'Please' and would be happiest outdoors from sun up to sun down
• He loves to brush his teeth
• I trimmed his bangs, because I still can't go through with a full-blown hair cut

Yours,
Restless, contained, hoping the change I'm craving will be satisfied by a new season
Out.
8.4.13