What is it in a relationship that makes each person think they do more and work harder than the other? Is this a constant battle every couple dukes it out over once in awhile? Can't we just accept equality or accept equality? On any given day, in my situation, one can do more than the other, but in a whole it rounds out.
Hey, I'm not blaming. I'm just as guilty. Why can't he take the garbage out after he's worked all day? Drop sarcasm here: Can't he see I'm tired from going to the petting zoo with the little one this afternoon?
Hey, I'm not blaming. I'm just as guilty. Why can't he take the garbage out after he's worked all day? Drop sarcasm here: Can't he see I'm tired from going to the petting zoo with the little one this afternoon?
He must be too exhausted from work today to give the little one dinner and a bath. Drop sarcasm here: I've been with him all day, sometimes dragging him around to work with me and am now going out to work tonight.
Keeping the tally on the mental chore chart is just as exhausting as taking on the workload alone in a day.
He cut the grass. I made dinner = One gold star each.
I got up with little one in the night. He got up in the morning = One gold star each.
He went to work and came home from a hard day to 'veg' out. I worked, picked up the little one, made dinner, fed and bathed and put little one to bed and then cleaned up = Five gold stars, me. Zero, him.
Or Vice Versa. You get the idea.
The argument brews when we seem overwhelmed and feel we are taking on more than we can handle at one particular time, and acting like a jerk is another way of reaching out to say, I'm tired. Can't you throw me a bone?
My husband and I are equally guilty of dethroning one another, as we are equally in this together and as we put in an equal amount of sweat and love in raising our child, working full time and attempting to keep up with household chores. So why the competing? No, really. Why? Is the answer in that age-old book, "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" that was on our mother's bedside tables growing up?
It seems an endless struggle, trying to find our places and the unsaid tension some days when life gets busy - Fighting over what's fair and calculating if we're even in the things we do as husband and wife and father and mother.
As wives, we rag on our husbands and I've come to realize, we are our own worst enemy. What is it about a woman's personality that makes us feel it is our responsibility to take on the world? What gives us the need to be in control and the need to do everything, because it's just easier if we do it ourselves. What makes our way, the right way? And when do we learn to let go? When do the 'estrogen ego' levels drop?
I got up with little one in the night. He got up in the morning = One gold star each.
He went to work and came home from a hard day to 'veg' out. I worked, picked up the little one, made dinner, fed and bathed and put little one to bed and then cleaned up = Five gold stars, me. Zero, him.
Or Vice Versa. You get the idea.
The argument brews when we seem overwhelmed and feel we are taking on more than we can handle at one particular time, and acting like a jerk is another way of reaching out to say, I'm tired. Can't you throw me a bone?
My husband and I are equally guilty of dethroning one another, as we are equally in this together and as we put in an equal amount of sweat and love in raising our child, working full time and attempting to keep up with household chores. So why the competing? No, really. Why? Is the answer in that age-old book, "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" that was on our mother's bedside tables growing up?
It seems an endless struggle, trying to find our places and the unsaid tension some days when life gets busy - Fighting over what's fair and calculating if we're even in the things we do as husband and wife and father and mother.
As wives, we rag on our husbands and I've come to realize, we are our own worst enemy. What is it about a woman's personality that makes us feel it is our responsibility to take on the world? What gives us the need to be in control and the need to do everything, because it's just easier if we do it ourselves. What makes our way, the right way? And when do we learn to let go? When do the 'estrogen ego' levels drop?
18.10.12
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