Today, was a good day

I was watching Ryker sleep tonight. Sprawled out in his crib he looks so long. It's impossible to believe, so I don't think too much into it, that he will be 11-months-old tomorrow.

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My proactive approach to handling my anxiety left me feeling good. The understanding from a homeopath, specializing in anxiety and depression based on her personal experience, makes me feel less lonely and more hopeful. A lesson on pharmaceutical meds from our nurse educated me on that avenue.

Did I mention Ryker choked again last week? That's what threw me into my second-ever panic attack. The trigger is fear, obviously. Both of those experiences for me were the ultimate - Hitting the extreme end of the stress response, if you want to get technical about it. Yes, I've been reading.

It's not the stressor that determines the response, it's the person's internal reaction. You know the old, "It's not what happens in life, it's how you handle it." The thing is, your system must be prepared to take it. And mine is not. And so I have to train it to be.

In lower level anxiety, before I started to experience panic attacks from real-life fear, anxiety differs from fear, in that while fear is a rational response to a real danger, anxiety usually lacks a clear or realistic cause. This is the explanation of things getting stuck in my mind and becoming something completely unrealistic, and although you know that, you don't have the chemical or strategic tools to stop that.

Your mind is such a powerful tool in determining how you feel and can be used to create powerful positive emotions that give a natural high helping cope with stress. The relaxation from a chemical high (alcohol) is short-lived and leads to more stress to the system.

Wow. I lost control of this post real fast.

Ryker's choking was caused by an ulcer in his throat that is healing. It's really common and the nurse says it looks like he's rounding the end of hand, foot and mouth and disease. Sounds worse than it really is and it's making it's way through daycares and since Ryker puts everything into his mouth...

Anyway... following my post, Our New Home, I read a chapter in the book, Momfidence! by Paula Spencer about the ridiculousness of trying to capture every single moment on camera. She says that if we really want to preserve our children's lives, we're better off taking photos of their playroom floor.

Momfidence...
is asking another parent at the class program to snap a picture for you so you can just enjoy the show. They may take only one shot of your child (compared with one hundred of their own), but one is all you need.

 

I got out of bed last night and did a quick photo shoot of our home, as is.. And thought I would share a few. Layout is a little wild. No patience today to work with it. Yes, that's the bathtub hours after tub time and yes, it likely won't be drained until the morning's shower, or the next tub time if there's no time for a shower.
12.09.12