Come on buddy. Ok, let's go. Today, bud. Hurry up. Come on, we have to go.
That sounds so awful and it's not something I'm oblivious to doing on what seems to be an everyday basis. I cringe when these words come out my mouth mostly because I can't handle waiting a second for him to explore the snow before getting into the car or dropping his cereal bowl into the sink when's he finished, but also because I feel my cruel impatience rushing us along and through his childhood days.
I don't know what the constant urgency in me is. As if my head is already so far out the door and onto the next move long before we've even wrapped up that exact moment.
One morning back in September I was feeling in some self-created, stressed-out rush to get going, as if I have to be to the office at a specific time or the boss will fire me. It must have been one of those mornings that every parent of a preschooler experiences, fighting over which shirt he will wear because he's upset his Batman shirt is in the wash and today he doesn't like buttons. My patience was tried and worn thin, but really what doesn't try it and win on an ongoing basis?
Ryker was whining for me to carry him out of the house and I told him, "You have two legs. Let's go.", and then nudged him ahead. He put his arms out again and, irritated, I threw him up into mine in a mad race to nowhere and amidst the static I caught his eyes holding mine too compassionately for such young eyes, and it was as if time had stopped. We just stood there in the front hall and he said to me wisely and sincerely, "'Tuz I love you."
That was the exact moment I dubbed him my Angel. Thanks for choosing me, bud.
November 21, 2014
No comments:
Post a Comment