Hitting

Conveniently for the little guy, the day after Santa came he started to hit. And because I did what I just read I shouldn't have done and overreacted, he continues to do it, intently watching my face waiting to read my reaction and looking adorable when I tell him no hitting by smiling or putting his mouth in an the shape of an 'O' and shaking his head 'no'. Yes, it's apparent he knows the word and what it means. We know this, because it's this word that can sometimes trigger a mild meltdown too. The first time he hit me, I was shocked and told him 'no hitting' and then put him down on the floor. He stood there, looking so small on the big rug with his bottom lip out in one of those hard cries where no sound comes out. I had hurt his feelings and then it hurt my heart. That was the overreaction. Oh, discipline. I really have no idea what I'm doing, and how do you a punish a wee being with big eyes like those?

Strange that he did it after not being in daycare over the holidays because, we all do it mamas, we blame the kids they go to daycare with for teaching them all of the bad things. My instincts haven't stepped up in helping me know how to handle the situation so I Googled "One-year-old hitting" and sifted through advice until I found what it was I wanted to hear. You know you all stop on what you want to hear too!

 At this age hitting is the latest great experiment and a test to our reactions. Ryker does it to express frustration when he's tired and possibly to get a kick out of our reaction if he's bored. I read that one-year-olds have almost no impulse control and may not realize it can hurt then they hit because a sense of compassion isn't complete until age three. Nothing you can do will prevent your child from hitting, so it's important not to overreact. Oops.

 Here's a bit of common sense, not many people have: Parents who respond by yelling or hitting back may be encouraging the behaviour because their response suggests that aggression is an appropriate way to solve a conflict and get attention. It's wasted energy. A one-year-old won't make the connection between his actions and yours... For the same reason, time-outs are pointless until age two. Some more tips I scooped:

• Consistency is crucial.
• Stay calm.
• Voice your empathy. Tell him that it hurts and makes you sad when you get hit.
• Acknowledge your child's feelings and provide a brief lesson. "I know that you're tired, but we don't hit." (It's also unproductive to force your child to apologize. Instead, offer an apology that can be a model for your child)
• Provide a safe alternative. "Use your words" (Good for a child that knows words to use)
• Reinforce positive efforts "Good sharing!"

Learning not to hit takes time for any one-year-old to master.