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Golden

I checked out. 
Not just from this Blog, but from everything else with real meaning in my life.


Today, I'm breathing in my golden reality and exhaling self destruction.
Like the songs of the summer describe mine, and I change the station.

Where to start... I despise that impossible phrase.
One day at time, and if I miss a day, tomorrow's another.

Here's a sweet taste of my golden reality:

July

August


September
17.9.13

Trace your face

It's a rare occasion that I'm up and ready to go before the little guy has even stirred. It's been an hour and he's still sound asleep. I've been up there puttering around in his room, opened up the curtains, ran my fingers over his cheek and hair then did the breath test. Yes, I still put my hand on his belly to make sure he's breathing.

As usual I should be using this time to work, but instead I'm reading blog posts written my other moms about their strong love for their children. I jumped at the ridiculousness of reading these stories instead of creating my own moments with my own child. When is the last time I just stood still... and watched him.

As he slept, I traced his face. His eyebrows, his cheek, his nose and down over his mouth. Around his ear, each finger and the smooth little palm of his still-baby-looking hand. The little round birthmark on his leg caught my eye and I grabbed the camera and started to take those pictures. You know, those pictures you take of your newborn miracle when all they do is lay and all you do is stare and capture those perfect little features. Here they are, 20 months later.





5.7.13



Love hard

When it hits too hard and feels too deep to rise to the surface and put into words...

I'm loving hard - My family and the extension of family that we've gained from loss and my husband, so that when one of us dies people mourn for the loss of the love that we shared. A love like Jodi and Pete's. The kind that when one leaves too early, you can only be grateful to have even had it all.

I've learned from them to be my husband's best friend and for it to be enough in a day to just come home and be... together. 

I don't care, but to just be *grounded in the *simplicity of the *beauty that surrounds me.

And gracious to the Universe for the collide into the love of the people around me.



6.8.13