We were caught in the middle of an unfortunate anger-fueled blow out recently that became a reflection of Ryker's behaviour for about a week or so to follow. The rage he acted out was what I can only assume an expression of what he'd seen and led me to fear that he had been scarred for life.
Fortunately, a concocted blend of communication, love, sense of security and the resiliency in kids lifted the effect of what had rattled us all and been replaced with the reflection of our everyday lives - Love and empathy.
His last toddler lash out in that week to follow involved throwing his bedroom lamp for being sent there for some quiet time, leaving bits of broken bulb across the floor. I, surprisingly calm and with a broom in my hand sweeping up the shards, told him that I was upset that he had broken his lamp and that it was so dangerous to throw things when you're angry and I didn't want him to get hurt. Since then, for the past couple of weeks, out of nowhere he'll come to me and sweetly say, "Sorry mommy. Sorry for breaking my lamp." Apologizing, I think, for the first time ever and without being asked to. I'm not sure if he gets it now or if in his manipulative toddler brilliancy he knows it melts me, but I just keep telling him that I know he's sorry and that we don't throw things when we get angry because someone could get hurt and that I love him.
He's been hugging me and mushing his cheek to mine whispering sweet love into my ear, like "You're the sweetest" or "You're the best" and this morning, "I love you with the world." I don't know what it means, but it might be the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me.
The moral of the story, I suppose, is that we can't shield our children from all of the negative real-life instances, but we can let them know that through them they can find security in our unconditional love.
Feb. 14, 2015
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