Mother's Day Tea

I was invited for Mother's Day Tea at Ryker's daycare this afternoon. The wee ones came out in a line, Ryker oblivious to the crowd of mamas. The first thing I noticed was that they wet his hair down to look nice and neat. They all sat on the floor in a group and started to sing Mommy Day songs. By sing, I mean Ryker faced into the crowd of kids checking out everyone's shoes. He was actually looking down at a little guy's kicks and then looking at his in comparison. All I could see was his back until he turned around and saw me in the crowd and came over to see me. He sat in a little chair, now part of the audience, watching the kids sing and when it was over, he got up and he gave me a big hug and grabbed my hand to show me around.

He made me the most perfect Mother's Day card with flowers made from prints of his hands and feet and a little poem that he suddenly threw on the floor after I had a look and all hell broke loose out of nowhere. 

He was whining impatiently, waiting in line for a snack and then hysterical while he was eating it. Someone said that maybe he's overwhelmed. I just thought he was pissed because I was taking his plate away because his mouth was so full. When the place cleared out, his demeanor took a 180 and he was carefree playing with his baby playdate, now fellow daycare buddies. Someone else said maybe he doesn't like crowds. 

And the fear of his possible panic, made me feel panicked. Was he panicked? What if the number of people in the space and chaos around us was making him anxious and that's why he was so upset. The thought makes me feel sick... and guilty... and sad.

Maybe he was just starving and thirsty.

Once we were ready to head out the door, it started. We're seven days in. "Ma baw? Ma baw? Ma baw? Ma baw? Ma baw?" It was in the truck waiting for him. Obviously. We don't go anywhere now without that damn security ball. I was the hero when I handed it to him and the whole two minutes ride home... "Ma baw. Ma baw. Ma baw. Ma baw. Ma baw."

This week, I'm convinced he's either going to be a baseball player or a shoe salesman when he grows up.

10.5.13