I've opened a fresh new page a few times over the last couple of days, but it's strange to go on writing about my life with the tragedy that continues to hang on our hearts. I've put down words about how grateful we can be and deleted it because that doesn't seem fair. I have read many media posts about how we need to hold the ones we love in a time like this, but it doesn't seem fair. I think it, do it and am grateful for it, but for some reason it doesn't seem fair to say it out loud. It feels like I'm taking a shot at the parents who lost their little ones. I think about the gifts hidden away in those houses that were waiting to be placed under the tree on Christmas Eve for their little one to wake to on Christmas morning. I think about returning the gifts I have hidden away, out of guilt for being able to enjoy our one true gift. See, another shot.
It's not fair.
17.12.12
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