Bullying hits a nerve with me these days. It was almost my last straw at the grocery store last week when it was clear one of the cashiers was mildly, if to say there is a degree of it, bullying another and I was totally disgusted by how pathetic it was. I wish now I had said that I found the behaviour was inappropriate.
It's a strong message what the kids are learning in school this week and sporting on the back of anti-bullying tees: DON'T be a bystander. STAND UP for yourself and for others.
All too often lately I find myself walking away from a situation, wishing I had something.
Bullying in the workplace
When we think of bullying, we think of it as a behaviour among children. Although it is a childish act, it is an incredibly prominent cruel one that occurs within all of society - One of those being the workplace.
A recent public example of this is the TV news anchor, Jennifer Livingston who received a hurtful email from a viewer criticizing her weight. She retaliated by taking a stand in defense of her daughters and other children who may not have the same emotional shield, urging young viewers not to allow such people to define their self-worth.
Bullies feel brave hiding behind their computer screens dishing out harassing, hurtful words and threats, but it is the bullied victim who speaks out in person who is courageous.
Livingston said years of criticisms often given with a career like hers has helped her develop a thick skin, but I don’t believe anyone's skin is thick enough to be numb to the harsh attacks of others. It is just as difficult for an adult as a child to brush off hurtful words and acts and it’s hard for the families they come home to to see the one they love upset by the cruel actions of others. Of course, as adults, we have both more choices and more power than most children.
Bullying usually involves repeated incidents or a pattern of behaviour that is intended to intimidate, offend, degrade or humiliate a particular person or group of people. While bullying is a form of aggression, the actions can be both obvious and subtle. Some examples of workplace bullying are spreading malicious rumours, gossip, or innuendo that is not true, intimidation, removing areas of responsibilities without cause, constantly changing work guidelines, making jokes that are obviously offensive' undermining or deliberately impeding a person's work, isolating someone socially or physically abusing or threatening abuse.
If you feel that you are being bullied, discriminated against, victimized or subjected to any form of harassment:
• Firmly tell the person that his or her behaviour is not acceptable and ask them to stop;
• Keep a factual journal or diary of daily events;
• Keep copies of any letters, memos, e-mails, faxes, etc., received from the person;
• Report the harassment to the person identified in your workplace policy, your supervisor, or a delegated manager. If your concerns are minimized, proceed to the next level of management.
It’s important not to retaliate because you may end up looking like the perpetrator and will most certainly cause confusion for those responsible for evaluating and responding to the situation.
Currently there is little occupational health and safety legislation in Canada that specifically deals with bullying in the workplace, but an important component of any workplace prevention program is management commitment; which works best communicated in a written policy. Since bullying is a form of violence in the workplace, employers can write a comprehensive policy that covers a range of incidents from bullying and harassment to physical violence.
Bullying can affect the workplace by increased turnover, decreased productivity and motivation and morale and increased absenteeism and stress.
It’s sad to think of the people who can’t just go to work and do their job, work alongside their fellow employees to make the best of the workday and the product - The bullies whose lives revolve around the drama they create.
Most of the time, you can choose how you are going to respond to bullying behavior. Deciding to make a conscious choice instead of feeling like a helpless victim of someone’s behavior can be very empowering.
Always keep in mind, people throw rocks at things that shine.
22.11.12
I’m not sure if its controversial to speak of bullying as a habit or a lifestyle, although I truly believe if not caught early (at whatever age) this is what it becomes. The reason why I describe it as a habit or lifestyle is once you bully someone once, normally you will do it again and again until it’s something you do on a day to day basis. Once you develop a habit, its like any other habit such as smoking, drinking, or drugs, it’s very hard to quit. Why is it so hard to quit you ask?, like smoking, drinking or drugs the individual that likes to bully someone receives a “high” from it, they enjoy being the dominant individual. Making someone else feel emotionally worse, automatically makes them feel emotionally better, and in doing so makes them feel like they are in power of that other individual.
ReplyDeleteThe issue with bullying that is different from other habits such as smoking, drinking, or drugs is, you as the bully are affecting other individuals health more than your own, and due to this from the bullies perspective there is no reason to stop their actions, as they personally never see a risk to human health. This is why in drastic bullying cases you see the ultimate sacrifice being suicide. The person being bullied claims they can not take it any more, and in most cases this is true, although deep down I believe they want to show the bully there are health complications due to their toxic habit, and maybe..just maybe they will feel something, or be sorry for their actions if something happened to them.
So the question is how do you as a bully remedy this habit. I believe that this habit or maybe even call it a disease has to be treated the same way as someone that is trying to fight drug or alcohol habits. With that being said I strongly agree, speak up! Let the person know that what their doing to someone is hurtful and demeaning, sometimes the habit has gone unnoticed and they don’t even realize what they are doing is hurtful to the other person. Although I believe we have to go one step further and set up clinics and support groups for individuals with bullying problems. Just like any other habit that is hard to kick people need support and help to free themselves from their bullying lifestyle.
This is truly a topic that hits home with myself, and I do believe we have come along way to the stoppage of bullying in the past 15 years, although there is so much more to be done. Advocate, Get involved!, and while we have to work for the victims of bullying lets work towards assisting the individuals that cause the problem as well, as I believe Bullying is a toxic habit that if left untreated can be horrible on people and society.