I was checking out the living conditions in the claustrophobic small second floor of the aircraft. My husband and son were among the other passengers on board sitting in their seats a floor below. The plane took a big smooth turn to the right and then plummeted in slow spirals toward the ground. I could literally feel the drop as my stomach rose up into my throat, which is weird because it was a dream. As I continued to fall it went silent and there was a sudden calm. As dreams go, I woke up just before we hit.
I was sleeping on the couch and awoke from the nightmare just as my husband stood above me at nearly 4 a.m. asking me what the hell I was doing on the couch. He sleeps soundly any other night we've had an argument, but tonight's different for him. He's had enough. "You don't get your own way, so you pout all night?" he yelled. "Now you hate me so much you can't even sleep next to me!"
There it was. Yet, another breakthrough in our ten-year-long relationship. Those ones that, just when it's slipping hard and fast, you drop the bullshit, give in and fall deeper in love.
Me not getting my way escalated into him not being on my side and then into us not wanting the same things. How would we make it?
In reality: He's logical and I'm the spoiled brat that didn't get her way. So... I'm still working on the whole "compromise" thing that comes with marriage. Ugh. I hate that!
What I love are my boys.
I'm on board, seated next to them in the world that to me, revolves around them.
Years ago I was talking to a buddy about marriage and that I would never get married. I questioned, "If you were truly in love, what are the chances that two people are compatible enough to grow and change, as everyone does, together." He said, "That's the point. You have to love that person enough to grow and change with them through all of those years." I just remembered this. I love this. To that buddy: Happy 1st Anniversary this month!
1.8.12
1.8.12