Saddened. Sickened. Frightened.

I had a different post to publish, but all else seems irrelevant following today's news.

Seventy-one people were shot, 12 of them were killed. We all know the story.

A witness at the premiere of the new Batman movie in Denver, Colorado last night was interviewed today saying that when he saw the gas he thought it was a special effect. Makes sense. Why the hell would it be a 24-year-old male wearing a gas mask, launching a gas canister into the sold-out theatre before opening fire into the butter-fingered, fountain pop-slurping oblivious audience.

When I first read the story this morning, my mind went blank in an effort to disbelieve. Even as I re-read this, it leaves me winded trying to block out any attempted comprehension of the fear those people felt in that moment and the aching loss felt by the families and friends of the victims.

The Globe and Mail reported that this is "one of the deadliest mass shootings in recent U.S. history". Media has resurfaced memories of the Columbine Massacre in 1999, where two students opened fire killing 12 classmates and a teacher. It is reported that Friday's attack was the worst mass shooting in the U.S. since an Army psychiatrist killed 13 soldiers and civilians at Fort Hood, Texas in 2009.

I read on today to learn that some of the injured were children, with the youngest a 4-month-old baby who has been released from treatment.

Seven weeks ago, a shooting in Toronto's Eaton Centre resulted in the death of a 25-year-old male and left six others injured. The Toronto Star reported that among the victims of this crime were a 13-year-old boy and a pregnant mother who was trampled among the chaos.

Recent headlines are taking parental worry to a level far beyond skipping class to smoke 'doobies', Prom party 'keg stands' and teen pregnancy.

It's hard on my heart to lose faith in our society. On this day, I don't feel trusting of my neighbours or my surroundings. What I feel is scared as hell for the people I love and for myself. I feel helpless. Are these scenarios ones we can assume we will become witness or victim to in our lifetime?

Could my child be a mall rat, Batman fan or gunman?
20.7.12